This was about 8.45; and now (10.10) I have written thus far.
It seems only necessary to cut off definitely dispersive things, aimless chatter and such; for the Operation itself will guide one, leading to disgust for too much food and so on. If there be upon my limbs any chain that requires a definite effort to break it, perhaps sleep is that chain. But we shall see — solvitur ambulando. If any asceticism be desirable later on, true wariness will soon detect any danger, and devise a means to meet it and overcome it.
The distaste for food has already begun.
I was getting into Asana and thinking "I record this fact," when I saw a jockey being weighed.
[Odd memoranda during lunch.
Insist on pupils writing down their whole day; the play as well as the work. "By this means they will become ashamed, and prate no longer of 'beasts.'"]
I am now well away on the ascetic current, devising all sorts of privations and thoroughly enjoying the idea.
Will sit down and do Asana, etc.
I continue meditating simply.
I bought two pears, half a pound of Garibaldi biscuits, and a packet of Gaufrettes. I had a citron pressé, too, at the Dôme.
At the risk of violating the precepts of Zoroaster 170 and 144 I propose to do a Tarot divination for this Operation.
Thus, then, is Adonai hidden from me. I know where He lives; I know I shall be welcome if I call; but I do not know whether He will invite me to a banquet or ask me to go out with him for a long journey.
It may be that the Rota will give me some hint.
I am never content with such divinations; trustworthy enough in material concerns, in the things of the Spirit one rarely obtains good results.
The first operation was rather meaningless; but one must allow (a) that it was a new way of dealing those cards for the opening of an operation; (b) that I had had two false starts.
The final operation is certainly most favourable; we shall see if it comes true. I can hardly believe it possible.
All this I did with reluctance, I did with reluctance, as an act of self-denial or asceticism, lest my desire to concentrate on the mystic path should run away with me.
Therefore I think it may fairly be counted unto me for righteousness.
I now drink a final coffee and retire, to do I hope a more straightforward type of meditation.
So mote it be.
Naked, Maryt looks like Correggio's Antiope. Her eyes are a strange grey, and her hair a very wonderful reddish gold — a colour I have never seen before and cannot properly describe. She has Jewish blood in her, I fancy; this, and her method of illustrating the axiom "Post coitum animal triste" made me think of Baudelaire's "Une nuit que j'etais près d'une affreuse Juive": and the last line
Obscurcir la splendeur des tres froides prunelles.
 Including the Prologue, but not the Preface. — Ed.
 The action or process of swallowing.
 "He is God and there is no other God than He."
 any sacred sentence, whose constant repetition produces many strange effects upon the mind. — Ed.
 Legs rossed, arms below head, like the figure of the Hanged Man in the Tarot Cards. — Ed.
 The nature of this Ritual is explained later. — Ed.
 Lemon juice.
 We have omitted the details of this divination. — Ed.
 Preparation or an arrangement for dealing with something; or the protection of a person, building, or organization against crime or attack.
 Vajroli Mudra is one of the ways in yoga which can help you deal with premature ejaculation and urinary disorders. Advanced practice can lead to one being able to control the ejaculation of semen and even ability to pull back the ejaculated semen.
 After coitus the animal is sad.
 "One night when I was near a terrible Jew"
 Obscure the splendor of very cold eyes
 We omit this poem. — Ed.
This feature is disabled because you don't have a secure connection.